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Subject Topic: A Bit Too Near The Truth........ Post ReplyPost New Topic
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madden
DPV Owner - 5 bed villa
DPV Owner - 5 bed villa
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Joined: 14 September 2005
Location: United Kingdom
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Community: Lake Berkley Resort
Posts: 4708
Posted: 19 January 2011 at 5:21pm | IP Logged Quote madden

 

A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water.  As the bartender gives her the drink she says, 'I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today.'

The bartender says, 'Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink.  In fact, this one is on me.' 
As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, 'I would like to buy you a drink, too.'

The old woman says, 'Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water.'

'Coming up,' says the bartender.
As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says, 'I would like to buy you one, too.'

The old woman says, 'Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water.'

'Coming right up,' the bartender says.  As he gives her the drink, he says, 'Ma'am,  I'm dying of curiosity.  Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?'

The old woman replies, 'Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor.  Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue.'

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'OLD' IS WHEN...
Your friends compliment you
On your new alligator shoes
And you're barefoot.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
You don't care where your spouse goes,
Just as long as you don't have to go along.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
You are cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the police

'OLD' IS WHEN..
'Getting a little action'
Means you don't need to take any fibre today.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
'Getting lucky' means you find your car
In the parking lot.

'OLD' IS WHEN...
An 'all nighter' means not getting up
To use the bathroom.

AND

'OLD' IS WHEN...
You are not sure these are jokes?



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Maddie
Dreams Can Come True When You Stay At Southview

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arkvilla
DPV Owner - 4 bed villa
DPV Owner - 4 bed villa
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Joined: 14 January 2010
Location: United Kingdom
Online Status: Offline
Community: Highgate Park
Posts: 230
Posted: 19 January 2011 at 5:48pm | IP Logged Quote arkvilla

  - very good Maddie

Sandra



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toppinfamily
DPV Owner - 4 bed villa
DPV Owner - 4 bed villa
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Joined: 30 September 2005
Location: United Kingdom
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Posts: 714
Posted: 19 January 2011 at 6:25pm | IP Logged Quote toppinfamily

Made me giggle!



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Mary and Colin
DPV Owner - 5 bed villa
DPV Owner - 5 bed villa
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Joined: 12 July 2006
Location: United Kingdom
Online Status: Offline
Community: Orange Tree
Posts: 1135
Posted: 20 January 2011 at 8:09pm | IP Logged Quote Mary and Colin

 

I know what you mean

Did make me smile.

Mary

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Tiffany
DPV Owner - 2 bed villa
DPV Owner - 2 bed villa
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Joined: 08 January 2006
Location: United Kingdom
Online Status: Offline
Community:
Posts: 1919
Posted: 24 January 2011 at 6:56pm | IP Logged Quote Tiffany

 Love it Maddie   

xx



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Lynn and Louise aka 'Tiffany'
Comfort Landings - the villa for a tan without tan lines!
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